The cost of Free Will

 

God has been speaking to me about the COST of my Free Will choices…

Gen 1:27-31

“So God created man in his own image,

in the image of God he created him;

male and female he created them.

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, s“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 29 And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. tYou shall have them for food. 30 And uto every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 vAnd God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.”

Gen 2:24

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (emphasis mine)

Gen 3

Now uthe serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.

He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You1 shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, 3 but God said, v‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” 4 wBut the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise,2 she took of its fruit xand ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, yand he ate. 7 zThen the eyes of both were opened, aand they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.

8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool3 of the day, and the man and his wife bhid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”4 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, cbecause I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man said, d“The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, e“The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

14 The Lord God said to the serpent,

“Because you have done this,

cursed are you above all livestock

and above all beasts of the field;

on your belly you shall go,

and fdust you shall eat

all the days of your life.

15 I will put enmity between you and the woman,

and between your offspring5 and gher offspring;

hhe shall bruise your head,

and you shall bruise his heel.”

16 To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

iin pain you shall bring forth children.

jYour desire shall be for6 your husband,

and he shall krule over you.”

17 And to Adam he said,

“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife

and have eaten of the tree

lof which I commanded you,

‘You shall not eat of it,’

mcursed is the ground because of you;

nin pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;

18 thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;

and you shall eat the plants of the field.

19 By the sweat of your face

you shall eat bread,

till you return to the ground,

for out of it you were taken;

ofor you are dust,

and pto dust you shall return.”

20 The man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.7 21 And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.

22 Then the Lord God said, q“Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, lest he reach out his hand rand take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever—” 23 therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden sto work the ground from which he was taken. 24 He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the tcherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life.

 

God has been speaking to me about the cost of my Free Will choices. My choices come at a cost to me and came at a GREAT COST to God. My choices cost Him His SON.

Isaiah 53

Who has believed what he has heard from us?1

And to whom has hthe arm of the Lord been revealed?

2 For he grew up before him like a young plant,

iand like a root out of dry ground;

jhe had no form or majesty that we should look at him,

and no beauty that we should desire him.

3 kHe was despised and rejected2 by men;

a man of sorrows,3 and acquainted with4 grief;5

and as one from whom men hide their faces6

he was despised, and lwe esteemed him not.

4 mSurely he has borne our griefs

and carried our sorrows;

yet we esteemed him stricken,

nsmitten by God, and afflicted.

5 oBut he was pierced for our transgressions;

he was crushed for our iniquities;

upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,

pand with his wounds we are healed.

6 qAll we like sheep have gone astray;

we have turned—every one—to his own way;

rand the Lord has laid on him

the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,

syet he opened not his mouth;

tlike a ulamb that is led to the slaughter,

and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,

so he opened not his mouth.

8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away;

and as for his generation, vwho considered

that he was cut off out of the land of the living,

stricken for the transgression of my people?

9 And they made his grave with the wicked

wand with a rich man in his death,

although xhe had done no violence,

and there was no deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet yit was the will of the Lord to crush him;

he has put him to grief;7

zwhen his soul makes8 an offering for guilt,

he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;

athe will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.

11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see9 and be satisfied;

by his knowledge shall bthe righteous one, my servant,

cmake many to be accounted righteous,

dand he shall bear their iniquities.

12 eTherefore I will divide him a portion with the many,10

fand he shall divide the spoil with the strong,11

because he poured out his soul to death

and was numbered with the transgressors;

gyet he bore the sin of many,

and makes intercession for the transgressors.

 

I know this a lot to read, if you are not a regular bible reader. But this has been pressed into my heart lately. This is why.

 

Many of you who know us, know that we have a hard two years. Tom lost his dad in January of 2011 and I lost my mom in March of 2011. That time period was really hard for us and started a cycle of our free will choices that has led to a high cost for our family.

We’ve spent MUCH of the past two years trying to get back to our Shangri la, the place where we both found Jesus! The place where we were healed from brokenness and strongholds from our past; The place where we met and fell in love, married, adopted our first son, and dreamed of our future, IN FLORIDA.

 

Tom found a “Perfect” job back in late 2011 that would have had us moving to the Tampa area, with a great company and compassionate owner. However, when we finally found a house she told Tom she no longer had a job for him. That’s when we decided to just try to stay in GA and I wrote my last post, “Live, where you are.”

Then we began lots of updating to our home and made some more permanent plans. Lots of work went into the yard and painting, gutters, mulch, new porch… LOTS of money, time and sweat. But worth it.

But the old feelings never went away. We still wanted to live in FL. My dad came back home, after traveling the US for 18 months. And I missed my dad. We were visiting FL A LOT, going to our church there, spending time with family and friends, desiring to be there, instead of living here. So Tom started to seek a job there again. We looked at several business opportunities, to no avail. Then Tom found a job ad in his National reporting magazine and the process began again…

He interviewed with this company that would allow us to live where we wanted to and he would travel some days and work locally others. Also, Tom contacted an old friend, in the business, and she said she needed a new reporter and talked with him about joining her team as well. Everything seemed like it would work. (Did I mention that we never really came together to pray about this?) With two job offers, good ones at that, and a paper budget that looked like it could work, we began a new journey to get back HOME.

So we put our newly renovated home on the market, we bought a home in FL, sold here, and moved over the Thanksgiving break from school. We enrolled the kids in the Christian School at our Church, we painted, put in new -flooring, set up home and started to live in our new home. But everything felt wrong…

The first job went away in the first few weeks. They were literally paying less than he was earning. They had a lot of rules that were not disclosed until he signed a work contract and he left the company quickly. The second job, with our old friend, was good, but what she considered great money was not paying the bills. At the end of three months Tom’s total income was only $900. So we made the decision to go back to Rincon, Ga, the place that God told us to “Live, where you are.”

Remember I told you there was a cost to our free will choices? I am still “calculating” the cost. But here is the gist. There has been a HUGE financial cost between the move, renovations to the house in FL, set up costs in FL, not having sold our home in FL, and the set up costs again here in Ga, we’re feeling the cost in a big way.

The cost to the emotional well being of our entire family has been unexpected and costly. Moving is stressful anyway, but moving twice in 3 months is almost more than a family can bear. We moved back to our old neighborhood so it would be an easier transition for the boys, and so they could be in the same school and classes. That part has been good. But they still miss FL, family, school church… I am working with their teachers and the school counselor to help them through this transition and I know it will all be fine.

The personal cost to my emotional state has been the most unexpected. I’ve spent my whole life moving. We moved for my dad’s jobs several times, and I look back at those times in my life as good. But somehow, my near 48 yr old little girl is struggling this time. Tom suggested that I increase my anti depressant, that has helped. But even though I have great friends here, and a regular Friday morning coffee date, I am still sad. I have gained a lot of weight. I know it is from the stress and depression, and I feel like I have already lost some, just because I run up and down these stirs 50 times a day! I’m prayerful that losing some weight, along with the increased anti depressants, and the impending sunshine, I will be on the mend soon…

The costs keep adding up, and just the other day, I remembered something that was told to Tom by a friend. He said he wanted to go on a mission trip, he knew it was the best thing for his family and he knew God would be PRAISED and EXHAULTED by the whole trip. But… there was a huge financial burden involved and he just didn’t know if they could do it. But God told him it had to cost him. He needed to feel something in order for him to KNOW the cost for his life. It had to cost him so he would understand the cost of Gods love for him, it was the death of His SON.

This journey HAS to cost us something so we will know the cost of our lives. We need to FEEL the cost. God gave His Son for us to live in a world filled with choices. When we choose to live on our own, with out Him, we will have to pay a price. The price will be determined by what God feels we need to pay to understand and to FEEL.

WE do have FREE WILL. We do have the ability to make choices in our life. Tom and I have chosen many good things, some great things, and some bad things. All of them add up. We chose God first. We chose each other second. We have chosen to teach our children, in the best way we know how, to love God and TRUST Him in all things. Sometimes we fail, but God grants us new mercy each day.

The new mercy here is that we get to start over again. We get to choose Him each day. We get to live where He has chosen for our family to live. We get to pay the cost for our free will choices. The cost will be determined by our Loving God, the ONE who has saved us from a pit of muck and mire, and delivered us into Glorious Light in a life everlasting…

Psa 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the Lord;

he inclined to me and heard my cry.

2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction,

out of the miry bog,

and set my feet upon a rock,

making my steps secure.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,

a song of praise to our God.

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Live, where you are.

It has been a long time since I was here last.

I have been through a lot this past year and God has walked each step with me, whispering this over me, “Live, where you are.” I am learning what that means. I’m a little slow sometimes, but He is always patient. 🙂

Last year, at Thanksgiving, we were told that my father in law had to have his gallbladder removed and they would do the surgery that Friday. That evening we got a call that they wanted to do some more tests before surgery and to please pray. The following week my in laws asked Tom if he could come to NJ and be at the doctors appointment with them. On December 6 or 7th we received the diagnosis of liver cancer, with about 6 months to live.

We were asked to come to NJ for Christmas, so we changed our plans and went to spend time with Tom’s dad and family. Dad was more sick that any of us knew we spent Christmas day with the family and we ended up spending the rest of our time in a local hotel, so he could rest.On Christmas day  Dad spoke an amazing blessing over each of us and for our future, we took some family photos and two days later he was bedridden. We left to come back home on January 1st. Tom got a call from the Hospice nurse on January 3rd and said it was time. Thomas Joseph Dorsey went home to be with Jesus on January 7th 2012.

We came back home, to Rincon, and went on with life. Then we had a message, from my dad, to call as soon as we get home from Church. My stomach sunk. Daddy told us they were on their way to Hospice House with mom and if I wanted to say goodbye I should come home. We left that evening and were in FL by 10:00. I went straight over to the Hospice House to sit with mom and daddy and to hold my mom’s hand. My brother was there by midnight and my sister and Aunt Kathy got there the next day. We all had a chance to spend time alone with mom saying goodbye. We also had a chance to pray, sing and say goodbye as a family.

Mom was born into heaven at 3:30 am on March 6, 21012.

We spent the rest of the week helping daddy do all the things we had been talking about for years, while mom was sick. I thought I was prepared to do it all, but nothing prepares your heart for dealing with it…But we moved forward as a family and took care of  everything and spent precious time together.

When we got back home to Rincon, everything looked the same here, but everything was wrong in my heart. Tom and I had both lost a parent. Nothing prepares you for that. Life went on all around me, but I was wrung out. My depression became pretty bad and I hid in food. I gained 40 lbs in 7 months… In my depression I had hidden myself in the house again and rarely ventured out. I seemed ok to my friends, but I felt as though I was being swallowed alive by something big and dark.

After we got through March and headed towards summer we missed our family more and more, and we wanted to find a way to go back home to Fl. So we began seeking opportunities. We found 2 different business that looked interesting and promising, and began the process of due diligence. There was also a job offer with a Court Reporting firm in Tampa and we looked into that too.

Every time we opened a new door, it was closed by God. Every time we thought things looked promising and we started to move forward, God stopped us.  Both businesses were a bust for us and so we moved forward with the job in Tampa. Tom kept in contact with the company owner and we were actively looking for a home down there.  At one point we even had a house, that we were ready to close on, but God showed us MANY issues that would not be corrected in the inspection process. SO we backed out of the house and moved forward. .

We finally found a home in that area that we really liked and we were ready to sign all the papers! Tom sent the company owner a short e mail updating her on our progress. We received a reply right away, but it was not what we were expecting. She had to hire two reporters while she was waiting for us, and she had no work for him. We were NOT expecting that. What is going on God?

As if I were not depressed enough, why God are you doing this to us? We just want to go home. We want to be in Fl, with our family and our Church again.  Why won’t you let us go? Why do you want us to stay in Rincon, we don’t want to be there. Why God? And He spoke, gently over me “Live, where you are.” What does that mean? I don’t want to live here, I want to live in FL! He was patiently whispering “Live, where you are.” “LIVE, where you are” I am still pondering what that means.

When we came back from FL in early January we had decided to trust God with His decision. We are going to stay in Rincon and wait on Him. So I joined the YMCA and started taking classes and I joined MyFitnessPal.com to help me with my diet, and for accountability from friends and family. We’ve signed the boys up for spring soccer and stopped telling them “When we move…”. I have continued to pray about what it means.

Last week there was a house in Seffner, FL that was swallowed up by a sinkhole and the man inside is missing, and presumed dead. That house is just a few blocks directly behind the house we were ready to close on. God gave us a small glimpse of why He wouldn’t allow us to move there. I am sad for the family of the man missing, but I am grateful to God for showing us His love and protection for us.

I feel like God is telling me to LIVE, not necessarily meaning in Rincon, just wherever I am at that moment in time. LIVE, breathe, play, pray, grow, be present, be a parent, don’t wait for tomorrow for something to happen. Live in my moment.

I still miss my mom every day. I still struggle with my depression. I still wish we could live in FL again. We don’t have a church here yet and we miss our Church home in FL so much. But we are going to LIVE here, where we are, until God moves us. I’m sure I will still struggle with my weight, my depression and life in general. But I am choosing LIFE.

God promises us, in His word, that He will never leave us or forsake us. He promises us that He has a plan for our future, a plan to prosper us and not to harm us, He says He is dancing over us with JOY! I will try to cling to those promises, knowing that things will be hard. But also knowing that He has told me, “LIVE, where you are”. I choose to try!

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When Cookie Cutters Won’t Cut It

When Cookie Cutters Won’t Cut It.

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A House Warming Giveaway…For You

A House Warming Giveaway…For You.

 

This is from a very good friend of mine! Check her out! You WILL be BLESSED!

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How do I walk this walk?

I have depression according to Miriam Websters depression is: b (1) : a state of feeling sad : dejection (2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies.

I don’t know much more about it than the above definition and how I feel most of the time. I can’t tell you how I got it, when it started, or if I will ever feel normal again. I think a general melancholy and feeling of sinking came over me around the time I began having symptoms of menopause. I think I was about 37, so about 8 yrs ago.

It’s hard to explain what I am feeling most days. This week has been a particularly difficult week for me, I have been very angry and feeling very out of control. I have been unusually mean and really can’t tell you why. I just know that I am hurting the people I love because of it. I don’t mean to and I really don’t even know how to change things right now. I spend a lot of time praying.

I began the HCG diet about 1 month ago, and part of the diet is coming off all medicines, including my antidepressant. They want you to be as organic as possible. I want to lose this weight so desperately that I went off my pills. I did great on the diet! I lost 23 lbs in a month! I transitioned into my Atkins style diet, successfully, and I am continuing to lose weight. But the depression is back…FULL FORCE.

In the midst of my yelling at Tom and the kids the other day Tom told me I needed to pray or read my book or something. He couldn’t stand me anymore. Truth be told, I couldn’t stand me anymore either. But I feel like all I do is pray. But my prayers seem to be floating around the ceiling.

I want to say, “What am I supposed to pray for exactly?”, what I have been praying is for God to make me better. Help me find a smile. Make me a good mom who doesn’t yell or be angry with the boys all the time. Make me the kind of wife Tom deserves. Fix me. I feel so broken.

I know that I am BROKEN and I need Christ. I don’t deny my need for Jesus. I love Him and I am so grateful for His GRACE toward me.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose.

And I love Him, I know I have been called according to His purpose. I know He will redeem this time of my life and use it one day for His Glory. But I can’t help but wonder why.

Most days this just plain old feels hard. Every diet in the world tells you that antidepressants will cause weight gain. Do Not Take them! But how do I make it through this time without them? I think I have to just take my chances.

 

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Depression and my need of God

Depression, according to the Websters Dictionary:

: an act of depressing or a state of being depressed: asa : a pressing down : loweringb (1) : a state of feeling sad : dejection (2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendenciesc (1) : a reduction in activity, amount, quality, or force (2) :a lowering of vitality or functional activity

3

: a depressed place or part : hollow

4

: low 1b

Depression is a funny thing, I don’t mean haha funny, just a strange kind of funny. Kind of like hitting your funny bone, it does not make you laugh but instead it makes you cry.

Some of you know my story. It’s a long one and I don’t particularly feel like sharing the whole thing right now. But I will share parts. I am in need of some healing of my heart, and feel like I just need some extra prayer right now and so, I am pouring my heart toward Jesus out , on this page, and asking you to pray for me.

I have always been a pretty positive, upbeat, relatively happy person. After my divorce, I had a time of healing and learning how to forgive. A time with Jesus that I will share and never forget. I didn’t feel particularly depressed back then, just yearning for more time with Jesus.

My life took so many unexpected turn for the better! I experienced real healing from things I had been carrying for a long time. I met lifelong friends. I met my husband and fell in love in a new way, a way that, I feel, honors God. We married almost three years after we met, we adopted Scotty, moved to Tn, got pregnant with Carson, and the list goes on! But somewhere, during all the excitement and wonderful things God was doing in and for us, I became depressed. I cried A LOT.

I realize, now, that I put myself into a self imposed exile from life. I backed away from friends, social connections, God… And I realized something was wrong. Tom was frustrated, but loving, and suggested that I try to get help. Friends suggested that I get help. I went into more exile. Then, a friend invited me to PepMoms. It was my 2nd moms group. But I felt VERY overwhelmed there. One meeting I showed up and my friend was not there. I had a panic attack. I spent 2 hours in a bathroom stall crying. God told me to get some help.

I made an appointment with my doctor. When I sat down to see him he asked me why I was there. I cried, and I cried some more. He is a VERY kind and sweet doctor from China and I think I scared him! He said, QUICKLY,” I be right back! I get you some pills, they help you and you will feel better!”  And they have helped me to feel better. Not perfect, but better.

Tom and I had some words today. We are both feeling pressed down and hollow. This move has been challenging. We are lonely. Things are feeling more settled and we are finding our way, with church, MOPS, my girls coffee group, a new Sunday School class ( I think it will be a very good fit), the boys school and Cub Scouts. We are drawing closer to Jesus in the time.

Tom was acting very angry this morning and I told him I feel like we are both being pruned by Jesus right now. He shouted at me and said “How do you  know that?” and so I told him, in not the kindest way. I feel like Jesus is using this depression, his job, the loneliness and anything else that is making us feel hurt right now, to bring us closer to Him and to change us from the inside out. And it   HURTS!

Some days I just want to scream! I want to tell God “I just don’t like what is going on here! I’m mad! I’m depressed, I want to feel better! I want to sleep well again! I want to exercise and enjoy it again! I want this weight to come back off! I want to stop crying! I want to be a better mom and wife to my family! And I feel like it will NEVER happen!!!!! When will this pruning end?”

And my answer is found in His WORD, the WORD I am hiding in my heart, the word that wants to explode into this world and change it,  and change me…

Psalm 119:104-106

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹⁰⁴Through your precepts I get understanding;
therefore^(A) I hate every false way. ^105(B) Your word is a lamp to my feet  and a light to my path.

¹⁰⁶I have^(C) sworn an oath and confirmed it,
to keep your^(D) righteous rules.

And so, I have given my word to God.  and He has given me  His WORD, JESUS! I struggle daily to live using His Word as a light unto my path. I fail again, and again but He loved me so much that He gave His Son to pay my ransom. I am still depressed. Tom and I are still lonely. But there is Light!

Will you pray for us? If you don’t know this light I am talking about, will you be bold enough to ask me? Jesus is using my depression to build me up, not break me down. Although I feel that pressed down  and hollow feeling right now, I am trying to take His Light in my hand and allow Him to shine on my path…

Will you join me?

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Wondrous Promises

While I was enjoying some quiet time this morning, thanks  to a sleeping boy! I asked God, “Why is this weight loss struggle so hard for me? Why do I always seem to fail? Why is it a constant struggle for me? I know you have done miracles in my life! Why can’t I seem to trust this time. Why do I trust you in almost everything else in my life, except this? I don’t understand.

And He spoke clearly to me. He reminded me so perfectly of the miracles He HAS done and the promises He HAS kept. He HAS changed my life already and will continue changing me, if I’ll let Him…

After my divorce, in 2000, I was in a dark place. God reached down and literally grabbed my by the hairs of my neck and lifted me into His arms for a season of healing. About two years into my healing journey I asked Him “Why do you not want me to have children? Why can’t I find a husband again? What’s wrong with me? And He led me to Isa 54. Please read this and think of a time in your life when you questioned God’s love for you and wondered if He would fulfill any of the promises made. If you know my story you KNOW He HAS kept His promises! Back then though I rested in this as a promise for my future, now He is showing me that it is a promise KEPT, a precious promise.

 

My precious answers to prayer.

 

From The Message Bible:

Isaiah 54

Spread Out! Think Big!

^1-6 “Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby.
Fill the air with song, you who’ve never experienced childbirth!
You’re ending up with far more children
than all those childbearing women.” God says so!
“Clear lots of ground for your tents!
Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big!
Use plenty of rope,
drive the tent pegs deep.
You’re going to need lots of elbow room
for your growing family.
You’re going to take over whole nations;
you’re going to resettle abandoned cities.
Don’t be afraid—you’re not going to be embarrassed.
Don’t hold back—you’re not going to come up short.
You’ll forget all about the humiliations of your youth,
and the indignities of being a widow will fade from memory.
For your Maker is your bridegroom,
his name, God-of-the-Angel-Armies!
Your Redeemer is The Holy of Israel,
known as God of the whole earth.
You were like an abandoned wife, devastated with grief,
and God welcomed you back,
Like a woman married young
and then left,” says your God.

^7-8Your Redeemer God says:

“I left you, but only for a moment.
Now, with enormous compassion, I’m bringing you back.
In an outburst of anger I turned my back on you—
but only for a moment.
It’s with lasting love
that I’m tenderly caring for you.

^9-10“This exile is just like the days of Noah for me:
I promised then that the waters of Noah
would never again flood the earth.
I’m promising now no more anger,
no more dressing you down.
For even if the mountains walk away
and the hills fall to pieces,
My love won’t walk away from you,
my covenant commitment of peace won’t fall apart.”
The God who has compassion on you says so.

^11-17“Afflicted city, storm-battered, unpitied:
I’m about to rebuild you with stones of turquoise,
Lay your foundations with sapphires,
construct your towers with rubies,
Your gates with jewels,
and all your walls with precious stones.
All your children will have God for their teacher—
what a mentor for your children!
You’ll be built solid, grounded in righteousness,
far from any trouble—nothing to fear!
far from terror—it won’t even come close!
If anyone attacks you,
don’t for a moment suppose that I sent them,
And if any should attack,
nothing will come of it.
I create the blacksmith
who fires up his forge
and makes a weapon designed to kill.
I also create the destroyer—
but no weapon that can hurt you has ever been forged.
Any accuser who takes you to court
will be dismissed as a liar.
This is what God’s servants can expect.
I’ll see to it that everything works out for the best.”
God’s Decree.

Then today He asked me to read farther. He asked me to read Isa 55 also. I have always stopped and rested in Isa 54, a promise kept, and never moved forward. So today He made another promise in this scripture.

“Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best,
fill yourself with only the finest.
Pay attention, come close now,
listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words.
I’m making a lasting covenant commitment with you,
the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love.”And now I’m doing it to you:”

Isaiah 55

Buy Without Money

^1-5 “Hey there! All who are thirsty,
come to the water!
Are you penniless?
Come anyway—buy and eat!
Come, buy your drinks, buy wine and milk.
Buy without money—everything’s free!
Why do you spend your money on junk food,
your hard-earned cash on cotton candy?
Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best,
fill yourself with only the finest.
Pay attention, come close now,
listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words.
I’m making a lasting covenant commitment with you,
the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love.
I set him up as a witness to the nations,
made him a prince and leader of the nations,
And now I’m doing it to you:
You’ll summon nations you’ve never heard of,
and nations who’ve never heard of you
will come running to you
Because of me, your God,
because The Holy of Israel has honored you.”

^6-7Seek God while he’s here to be found,
pray to him while he’s close at hand.
Let the wicked abandon their way of life
and the evil their way of thinking.
Let them come back to God, who is merciful,
come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.

^8-11“I don’t think the way you think.
The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
God’s Decree.
“For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They’ll do the work I sent them to do,
they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.

^12-13“So you’ll go out in joy,

you’ll be led into a whole and complete life.

The mountains and hills will lead the parade,
bursting with song .
All the trees of the forest will join the procession,
exuberant with applause.
No more thistles, but giant sequoias,
no more thornbushes, but stately pines—
Monuments to me, to God,
living and lasting evidence of God.”

He’s making a new PROMISE to me! A promise to a whole and complete life so I’ll go out in JOY!

I don’t really know, yet, where God and I are going in this journey. I know I will be healthier, stronger, in body spirit, I know He will never leave me or forsake me AND I’ll go out in JOY!

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