I appologize

I am sitting at the McDonalds, in Rincon, Ga, allowing my boys to burn some energy. It has been a difficult week for Carosn and running around and screaming, climbing, sliding are good for him today.

 

I need to apologize to you all, my friends, for not keeping up with my blog and for not being entirely truthful with you. Since we moved here in May I have been really struggling. I have been lonely, depressed, bored, and slacking in m y spiritual walk. That I have been truthful with. The problem I have known but been unable to communicate to myself, or you, is that I have been literally drowning all these emotions in food. I have gained almost ALL of my weight back. And I feel miserable.

A month, or so, ago, Tom’s mom made the decision to pay for his sister to go on a Dr. supervised diet program. She began sharing with us some of the things she was experiencing and we started to research the diet. Since then we have decided that it seems like a good diet for me to try. We found lots of information on it and I even found an iPhone app to help me in this new process. So I took my weight and measurements today and plugged them into the app and set my start date for Saturday.

I have been afraid of the scale. I have been afraid to let Tom, or anyone else, into my fears or the embarrassment of  what I have done to myself.   But this app and diet require me to weigh myself daily. Ugh. And I will need to record my daily weight on the app, along with my food intake, in order for the app to be helpful.  So the numbers I posted to my app are horrifying to me and I am so embarrassed. Even now I am afraid and ashamed to post my numbers here for anyone to know what I have done.

Did I tell you I am ashamed?

Definition of SHAME: from Websters Dictionary

1

a : a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.

 Guilt caused by a shortcoming. That’s how I feel. I feel like this issue is a shortcoming,

Definition of SHORTCOMING

: an imperfection or lack that detracts from the whole; also :the quality or state of being flawed or lacking

I feel imperfect. Lacking, in self control. Flawed.

I have asked so many of you to join me in prayer and encouragement to me, through this blog, and I have not kept up my end of the bargain. I am sorry for that. I need your continued prayer and encouragement. I need, more than ever, My Jesus.

 

My prayer for myself is that I will be able to be truthful, with myself and with you. That I will lean on Jesus for every bit of strength and willpower that I need. And that I will come out on the other side of this journey an stronger person, in my faith and my physical body.

 

My starting weight and measurements will have to remain on my iPhone only. I cannot post them here. Would you pray that I will allow Jesus to change that part of me. Would you pray for me that I will allow Jesus to change me?

 

I will keep you all posted on how this diet is going. Perhaps one day, in the near future I will not feel shame, weak willed and fearful and I will be able to share those numbers with you, and maybe then, I will ask you to pray for all my many successes. Not because of how awesome I am, or how I am doing on this diet program, but because of my successful journey with Jesus!

 

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How to Make Fabulous Desserts on a Frugal Budget!

How to Make Fabulous Desserts on a Frugal Budget!.

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Ah Sovereign God!

I wrote my Blog yesterday at about 7:30 ish a.m. and left for Bible Study about 9:15, feeling that hollow feeling.

 

When we begin our study each week we take prayer requests, and mine was the same this week as last… Please pray for me to feel more normal and the depression to lift. Then our sweet leader, Miss Barbara Cribbs, prays and shares a poem before we start our lesson. This is printed with her permission, she said “I don’t write them, it’s Gods words!”

 

 An Oasis in the desert

God is our God in the hopelessness, when things aren’t going right.

God is our God in the hopelessness, when friends seem out of sight.

God is the God who knows our pain, who sees our every need.

God is the God who waits for us, on Him to hungrily feed.

God is the one who cries with us through our sadest time of all.

God is the one who waits for us, to reach out to Him and call.

God is not only the God of the past, He Is the God of all our days.

God is our God down to the bone, For He KNOWS all of our ways

So if you feel you are all alone, Look to the God who sees your heart.

Then you will see the living water, God has provided from the start.

Barbara Cribbs 9/15/11

 

Thank you Jesus. Thanks you Jesus. Thank You Jesus

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Depression and my need of God

Depression, according to the Websters Dictionary:

: an act of depressing or a state of being depressed: asa : a pressing down : loweringb (1) : a state of feeling sad : dejection (2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendenciesc (1) : a reduction in activity, amount, quality, or force (2) :a lowering of vitality or functional activity

3

: a depressed place or part : hollow

4

: low 1b

Depression is a funny thing, I don’t mean haha funny, just a strange kind of funny. Kind of like hitting your funny bone, it does not make you laugh but instead it makes you cry.

Some of you know my story. It’s a long one and I don’t particularly feel like sharing the whole thing right now. But I will share parts. I am in need of some healing of my heart, and feel like I just need some extra prayer right now and so, I am pouring my heart toward Jesus out , on this page, and asking you to pray for me.

I have always been a pretty positive, upbeat, relatively happy person. After my divorce, I had a time of healing and learning how to forgive. A time with Jesus that I will share and never forget. I didn’t feel particularly depressed back then, just yearning for more time with Jesus.

My life took so many unexpected turn for the better! I experienced real healing from things I had been carrying for a long time. I met lifelong friends. I met my husband and fell in love in a new way, a way that, I feel, honors God. We married almost three years after we met, we adopted Scotty, moved to Tn, got pregnant with Carson, and the list goes on! But somewhere, during all the excitement and wonderful things God was doing in and for us, I became depressed. I cried A LOT.

I realize, now, that I put myself into a self imposed exile from life. I backed away from friends, social connections, God… And I realized something was wrong. Tom was frustrated, but loving, and suggested that I try to get help. Friends suggested that I get help. I went into more exile. Then, a friend invited me to PepMoms. It was my 2nd moms group. But I felt VERY overwhelmed there. One meeting I showed up and my friend was not there. I had a panic attack. I spent 2 hours in a bathroom stall crying. God told me to get some help.

I made an appointment with my doctor. When I sat down to see him he asked me why I was there. I cried, and I cried some more. He is a VERY kind and sweet doctor from China and I think I scared him! He said, QUICKLY,” I be right back! I get you some pills, they help you and you will feel better!”  And they have helped me to feel better. Not perfect, but better.

Tom and I had some words today. We are both feeling pressed down and hollow. This move has been challenging. We are lonely. Things are feeling more settled and we are finding our way, with church, MOPS, my girls coffee group, a new Sunday School class ( I think it will be a very good fit), the boys school and Cub Scouts. We are drawing closer to Jesus in the time.

Tom was acting very angry this morning and I told him I feel like we are both being pruned by Jesus right now. He shouted at me and said “How do you  know that?” and so I told him, in not the kindest way. I feel like Jesus is using this depression, his job, the loneliness and anything else that is making us feel hurt right now, to bring us closer to Him and to change us from the inside out. And it   HURTS!

Some days I just want to scream! I want to tell God “I just don’t like what is going on here! I’m mad! I’m depressed, I want to feel better! I want to sleep well again! I want to exercise and enjoy it again! I want this weight to come back off! I want to stop crying! I want to be a better mom and wife to my family! And I feel like it will NEVER happen!!!!! When will this pruning end?”

And my answer is found in His WORD, the WORD I am hiding in my heart, the word that wants to explode into this world and change it,  and change me…

Psalm 119:104-106

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹⁰⁴Through your precepts I get understanding;
therefore^(A) I hate every false way. ^105(B) Your word is a lamp to my feet  and a light to my path.

¹⁰⁶I have^(C) sworn an oath and confirmed it,
to keep your^(D) righteous rules.

And so, I have given my word to God.  and He has given me  His WORD, JESUS! I struggle daily to live using His Word as a light unto my path. I fail again, and again but He loved me so much that He gave His Son to pay my ransom. I am still depressed. Tom and I are still lonely. But there is Light!

Will you pray for us? If you don’t know this light I am talking about, will you be bold enough to ask me? Jesus is using my depression to build me up, not break me down. Although I feel that pressed down  and hollow feeling right now, I am trying to take His Light in my hand and allow Him to shine on my path…

Will you join me?

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How to save money while doing laundry!

How to save money while doing laundry!.

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Fighting against the evil one

Philippians 4:6-8

English Standard Version (ESV)

^6(A) do not be anxious about anything,^(B) but in everything by prayer and supplication^(C) with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And^(D) the peace of God,^(E) which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Ephesians 6:10-13

 ¹⁰Finally,^(M) be strong in the Lord and in^(N) the strength of his might. ^11(O) Put on^(P) the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against^(Q) the schemes of the devil.¹²For^(R) we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against^(S) the rulers, against the authorities, against^(T) the cosmic powers over^(U) this present darkness, against^(V) the spiritual forces of evil^(W) in the heavenly places. ¹³Therefore^(X) take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in^(Y) the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

 

This is what my day was like yesterday…

 

My alarm went off at 5:50 a.m., “Not yet!  I am so tired!”

Got the boys up and ready for school then out the door to the bus stop by 6:50 a.m.

Home to make Tom’s lunch then finish breakfast, eat with him and get him out the door for work.  {“I think I need to go back to sleep for a while.” ” Maybe I’ll skip the gym and just get some more rest.”}

Make beds, start laundry,  {“God I am SOOOOOOO tired”},  fold clothes, clean kitchen…

 

“O.k., I know this is just the evil one talking to me, Why don’t I just go get dressed and go to the gym anyway, I’ll have more energy if I exercise!” { but I am soooooo tired, I need more rest…}  Then I got myself dressed for the gym.

BAM!!!!!!  I didn’t do my best, but I burned some calories and listened to some sermons and I felt better!

 

Then Tom texted me and said he would be home soon. I’ll meet you at home. I got home and loaded 6 large concrete blocks into my car to return to LOWES, made lunch and ate with Tom. Ran some errands, made the returns and came home for a rest before the kids got off the bus. Made their snack, while they were changing, “MOM! He hurt me!!!!, “”No I didn’t, He’s Lying“”… “But  MOM I HATE Graham Crackers” “Just eat them and be quiet, we have homework to do.” So we did homework and Scotty told me “Mom I had to miss recess today and read my book.” “”Why honey?” “”Because you didn’t do my homework with me and the teacher made me miss recess.”  BAM! And she’s down again!

So I looked over the weekly newsletter and there in the homework section it said ” each day write the spelling words three times, then on Wed it said, ” Write sentences using three of the spelling words.” Now, to my credit, it didn’t say to turn the work in each day, but I totally misunderstood the directions and my son had to pay for my mistake.  BAM! So we re-did his homework and put it in the folder to turn it in.

Time to make supper, eat, converse as a family {I feel like such a looser because I can’t seem to even understand a simple homework assignment for a first grader and he had to pay for my mistake”, “It sounds like you are listening to the wrong person, mom, you seemed to miss the part where Scott just said “”You are my best mom. I’m glad I got to stay in and read today, I had fun!”” ” You are being overtaken by the devil”} BAM, BAM, BAM , clean up, make lunches for tomorrow, read stories, “But Moooooom, He ALWAYS gets to go first!” , get ready for bed, prayer time, wrangle ourselves out the door, check e mail, make popcorn, watch tv, go to bed… BAM!

Did you see it? I had an actual conversation with myself where I knew the devil was trying to win. I knew I needed to do the right thing, I did choose to exercise, that was good. BUT where was the armor? ¹²For^(R) we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against^(S) the rulers, against the authorities, against^(T) the cosmic powers over^(U) this present darkness, against^(V) the spiritual forces of evil^(W) in the heavenly places.

I know this stuff, but I get so tired and spend so much time worrying and being anxious, for nothing, that I forget God. Did I just say that? YES, I forget God. Never once yesterday did I send any real time in prayer. Never once did I open my Bible, because I was tired… Never once did I spend time lifting someone up to the LORD. I put on some exercise clothes so I could make my appearance at the gym and look like I was accomplishing something. But did I really accomplish anything?

I guess something was accomplished in that day. God took the time to whisper to my heart and show me that I forgot Him, I never talked with Him, and He pointed me to some pretty valuable scripture to help me see my need for Him. Thank you Father.

Today, I choose You.

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I Need Thee

1. I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
   No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
   • Refrain:
     I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
     Every hour I need Thee;
     Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
     I come to Thee.
2. I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
   Temptations lose their pow’r when Thou art nigh.
3. I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
   Come quickly and abide, or life is vain.
4. I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
   And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.
5. I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
   Oh, make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son.

Oh precious Father, I Need Thee.

I moved a lot when I was growing up. I adjust much easier than the average person. I love the adventure of moving and learning new things, meeting new people is exciting for me/ Moving here has been a good thing for the boys and I, we’re enjoying the challenges!

Moving is HARD work. This past few months has been difficult, to say the least. Moving is a huge stress-er and emotionally draining. Tom was raised in the same house, same neighborhood, same school for his whole life. Moving is REALLY hard for his spirit. Adjusting to a new home, church, neighborhood, driving patterns, job… has been rough.

Being married to Tom has been the biggest blessing of my life, second only to my relationship with Christ. But dealing with the struggles he has been feeling about this move have been new and uncharted territory for me. I want to respond to him with a biblical respect and love. But I am still learning how to do that. My frustration has been that I don’t think the way he thinks, I don’t worry about the things he worries about.

In light of these new emotions and struggles with the move I have “let myself go”. My quiet times have given way to entertaining two boys and trying to keep a normal level of “home” for Tom and the boys. Keeping my emotions in check and my exhaustion has left me weary and longing for fellowship. And  my desire to exercise has left the building…

Please pray for me as I seek Gods face. I need Him now more than ever. As our life changes and starts to become more “normal”, our new normal,  I am desiring to get back into a routine. I desire time with my Lord, time to enjoy His presence, time to worship  Him. I am seeking time for myself where I can exercise without worrying about time. Time to read my Bible again without interruption. Time for fellowship with other moms.

I am planning on joining either MOPS at a local church of possibly a BSF. I know these things will help center me and grow me. I know that when the boys start school I will have the precious time I am looking for. O know that volunteering at school will take time, but that I will also be meeting other moms and, hopefully, making some new friends.

But for now…I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

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You’ll be called Hephzibah

My friend Becky asked yesterday how I am doing. My answer was probably not what she expected. I’m not doing that great, but I love Becky and I trust her with my heart. So I told her my struggles. She is such an encouraging friend, did I tell you that I love this girl?

See weight loss and my personal health, and the health of my children’s future, has been in the forefront of my mind lately. I began reading Made To Crave, by Lesa Turkherst. It is wonderful book about finding the disconnect between how we were made to crave God and how we fill that spot, made just for Him, with food and other idols. I see where I am doing just that in so many ways. I am enjoying the book and heart study time that comes from reading this book. More importantly, I am enjoying my time with Jesus, more than ever.

I am finding that this journey, for me, is way more than a journey towards better health and a longer life to enjoy my kids. It is about my spirit. It is about learning just how much Jesus loves me! And about how I can translate that knowledge from my head to my heart.

The closer I am becoming to Jesus though, the more the evil one is taking jabs at me. That is a big part of my struggle. satan wants me to back off and take the easy route. he would be perfectly happy to keep me fat and lazy, far from God and far from healthy, both physically and spiritually.

Today as I spent quiet time with God he brought me to some new places in Isaiah. I have always loved the Psalms and Isaiah, but I am seeing so much more of Jesus in them and I am seeing more of God’s plan for me too. May I share with you?

These passages are from The Message bible.

^{Isiah 61:10-11}

^10-11I will sing for joy in God,
explode in praise from deep in my soul!
He dressed me up in a suit of salvation,
he outfitted me in a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom who puts on a tuxedo
and a bride a jeweled tiara.
For as the earth bursts with spring wildflowers,
and as a garden cascades with blossoms,
So the Master, God, brings righteousness into full bloom
and puts praise on display before the nations.

Isaiah 62

Look, Your Savior Comes!

^1-5 Regarding Zion, I can’t keep my mouth shut, regarding Jerusalem, I can’t hold my tongue,
Until her righteousness blazes down like the sun
and her salvation flames up like a torch.
Foreign countries will see your righteousness,
and world leaders your glory.
You’ll get a brand-new name
straight from the mouth of God.
You’ll be a stunning crown in the palm of God’s hand,
a jeweled gold cup held high in the hand of your God.
No more will anyone call you Rejected,
and your country will no more be called Ruined.
You’ll be called Hephzibah (My Delight),
and your land Beulah (Married),
Because God delights in you
and your land will be like a wedding celebration.
For as a young man marries his virgin bride,
so your builder marries you,
And as a bridegroom is happy in his bride,
so your God is happy with you.

v:11 Yes! God has broadcast to all the world:
“Tell daughter Zion, ‘Look! Your Savior comes,
Ready to do what he said he’d do,
prepared to complete what he promised.'”

 

I am struggling right now, But Oh what a promise I find in His WORD. As I draw closer to God and He reveals more and more to me I know that my journey toward weight loss will change and be different than what I am experiencing right now. I know that I will be even more in love with Jesus! That He will write Hephzibah on my forehead and I will see myself as the beautiful bride that He sees me as.

I will rest in this today.

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Wondrous Promises

While I was enjoying some quiet time this morning, thanks  to a sleeping boy! I asked God, “Why is this weight loss struggle so hard for me? Why do I always seem to fail? Why is it a constant struggle for me? I know you have done miracles in my life! Why can’t I seem to trust this time. Why do I trust you in almost everything else in my life, except this? I don’t understand.

And He spoke clearly to me. He reminded me so perfectly of the miracles He HAS done and the promises He HAS kept. He HAS changed my life already and will continue changing me, if I’ll let Him…

After my divorce, in 2000, I was in a dark place. God reached down and literally grabbed my by the hairs of my neck and lifted me into His arms for a season of healing. About two years into my healing journey I asked Him “Why do you not want me to have children? Why can’t I find a husband again? What’s wrong with me? And He led me to Isa 54. Please read this and think of a time in your life when you questioned God’s love for you and wondered if He would fulfill any of the promises made. If you know my story you KNOW He HAS kept His promises! Back then though I rested in this as a promise for my future, now He is showing me that it is a promise KEPT, a precious promise.

 

My precious answers to prayer.

 

From The Message Bible:

Isaiah 54

Spread Out! Think Big!

^1-6 “Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby.
Fill the air with song, you who’ve never experienced childbirth!
You’re ending up with far more children
than all those childbearing women.” God says so!
“Clear lots of ground for your tents!
Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big!
Use plenty of rope,
drive the tent pegs deep.
You’re going to need lots of elbow room
for your growing family.
You’re going to take over whole nations;
you’re going to resettle abandoned cities.
Don’t be afraid—you’re not going to be embarrassed.
Don’t hold back—you’re not going to come up short.
You’ll forget all about the humiliations of your youth,
and the indignities of being a widow will fade from memory.
For your Maker is your bridegroom,
his name, God-of-the-Angel-Armies!
Your Redeemer is The Holy of Israel,
known as God of the whole earth.
You were like an abandoned wife, devastated with grief,
and God welcomed you back,
Like a woman married young
and then left,” says your God.

^7-8Your Redeemer God says:

“I left you, but only for a moment.
Now, with enormous compassion, I’m bringing you back.
In an outburst of anger I turned my back on you—
but only for a moment.
It’s with lasting love
that I’m tenderly caring for you.

^9-10“This exile is just like the days of Noah for me:
I promised then that the waters of Noah
would never again flood the earth.
I’m promising now no more anger,
no more dressing you down.
For even if the mountains walk away
and the hills fall to pieces,
My love won’t walk away from you,
my covenant commitment of peace won’t fall apart.”
The God who has compassion on you says so.

^11-17“Afflicted city, storm-battered, unpitied:
I’m about to rebuild you with stones of turquoise,
Lay your foundations with sapphires,
construct your towers with rubies,
Your gates with jewels,
and all your walls with precious stones.
All your children will have God for their teacher—
what a mentor for your children!
You’ll be built solid, grounded in righteousness,
far from any trouble—nothing to fear!
far from terror—it won’t even come close!
If anyone attacks you,
don’t for a moment suppose that I sent them,
And if any should attack,
nothing will come of it.
I create the blacksmith
who fires up his forge
and makes a weapon designed to kill.
I also create the destroyer—
but no weapon that can hurt you has ever been forged.
Any accuser who takes you to court
will be dismissed as a liar.
This is what God’s servants can expect.
I’ll see to it that everything works out for the best.”
God’s Decree.

Then today He asked me to read farther. He asked me to read Isa 55 also. I have always stopped and rested in Isa 54, a promise kept, and never moved forward. So today He made another promise in this scripture.

“Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best,
fill yourself with only the finest.
Pay attention, come close now,
listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words.
I’m making a lasting covenant commitment with you,
the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love.”And now I’m doing it to you:”

Isaiah 55

Buy Without Money

^1-5 “Hey there! All who are thirsty,
come to the water!
Are you penniless?
Come anyway—buy and eat!
Come, buy your drinks, buy wine and milk.
Buy without money—everything’s free!
Why do you spend your money on junk food,
your hard-earned cash on cotton candy?
Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best,
fill yourself with only the finest.
Pay attention, come close now,
listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words.
I’m making a lasting covenant commitment with you,
the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love.
I set him up as a witness to the nations,
made him a prince and leader of the nations,
And now I’m doing it to you:
You’ll summon nations you’ve never heard of,
and nations who’ve never heard of you
will come running to you
Because of me, your God,
because The Holy of Israel has honored you.”

^6-7Seek God while he’s here to be found,
pray to him while he’s close at hand.
Let the wicked abandon their way of life
and the evil their way of thinking.
Let them come back to God, who is merciful,
come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.

^8-11“I don’t think the way you think.
The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
God’s Decree.
“For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They’ll do the work I sent them to do,
they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.

^12-13“So you’ll go out in joy,

you’ll be led into a whole and complete life.

The mountains and hills will lead the parade,
bursting with song .
All the trees of the forest will join the procession,
exuberant with applause.
No more thistles, but giant sequoias,
no more thornbushes, but stately pines—
Monuments to me, to God,
living and lasting evidence of God.”

He’s making a new PROMISE to me! A promise to a whole and complete life so I’ll go out in JOY!

I don’t really know, yet, where God and I are going in this journey. I know I will be healthier, stronger, in body spirit, I know He will never leave me or forsake me AND I’ll go out in JOY!

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Reflections

1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD; Sometimes I feel so lonely in this world and I cry out to you Lord. I am not really feeling lonely today, just out of sorts.

2 O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. Thank you that you always hear and you always answer.  I am human. I am needy. I need you, I need you to hear me because some days I wonder if I even have an audible voice. No one seems to hear me, Thank you that you promise that you hear my cries.

3 If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? Rom 3:23-24 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. O God thank you that you have provided a way for me, for us all!!

4 But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared. “God’s grace discovered, and pleaded with him, by a penitent sinner: But there is forgiveness with thee.It is our unspeakable comfort, in all our approaches to God, that there is forgiveness with him, for that is what we need. He has put himself into a capacity to pardon sin; he has declared himself gracious and merciful, and ready to forgive, Ex. 34:6, 7. He has promised to forgive the sins of those that do repent. Never any that dealt with him found him implacable, but easy to be entreated, and swift to show mercy. With us there is iniquity, and therefore it is well for us that with him there is forgiveness. There is a propitiation with thee, so some read it. Jesus Christ is the great propitiation, the ransom which God has found; he is ever with him, as advocate for us, and through him we hope to obtain forgiveness. ” ( WOW!) Matthew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible (Complete)

5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. O God, I wait for you, because I know you will come. You have shown me over and over that you come for me. I could tell so many times that I KNOW you were the one holding my head above the waters and keeping me safe. I can tell of the miracles you have performed in my life! I’ve put my hope in you over and over and you have ALWAYS come. Thank You Father!

6 My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. From The Treasury of David commentary “This is a fine poetical repeat. We long for the favour of the Lord more than weary sentinels long for the morning light which will release them from their tedious watch. Indeed this is true. He that has once rejoiced in communion with God is sore tried by the hidings of his face, and grows faint with strong desire for the Lord’s appearing, I long for your appearing God, I look forward to the day I will see your beautiful face and anoint you with oil, I long to wipe the oil from your feet with my hair.

7 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. From The Treasure of David Commentary “Our comfort lies not in that which is with us, but in that which is with our God.” Miriam Websters Dictionary says “

un·fail·ing

adj \ˌən-ˈfā-liŋ\

Definition of UNFAILING

: not failing or liable to fail:a : constant, unflagging <unfailing courtesy>b : everlasting, inexhaustible <a subject of unfailinginterest>c : infallible, sure <an unfailing test>

Thank You God for your UNFAILING LOVE. I don’t love that way. I am in awe of you. I am so in love with you.

8 He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins. My redeemer lives. He lives in me!

Wow! I feel like I need a few more days in this psalm. I am loving the time that God is calling me to spend with him.

There was a show on tv when I was a little girl, staring Little Jimmy Osmond. I don’t remember much about the show, but Jimmy was on a talk show singing the theme song one day and I sat there, with my cassette recorder, in front of the tv, and sang along with him. I still remember the words and in my heart I am singing them right now.

“When I feel all alone, and all my world is crumbling down on me. It helps when people know you care, that anytime I call you’re there. Yeah, you’re there.” My God is there for me…..

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